I came to some realizations during my first hospitalization experience. In fact, I would never know those things if I weren’t been hospitalized at that time. Something big needs to happen in our life to bring a big change in our life. Being hospitalized in order to get shoulder surgery was a big thing in my life. Last month I got admitted to Dhulikhel Hospital to get surgery for recurrent shoulder dislocation. I got admitted a day prior to my surgery and had to stay in the hospital for five days post-surgery. The experience made me think about many such things which I considered trivial and not worth even thinking of. I came to realize things such as the difference between hearing about a thing and actually experiencing it, the difficulties of a patient who has just undergone surgery, hard work done by medical professionals, and the importance of true friends.
There is a huge gap between hearing or learning about a thing and actually experiencing that thing. That’s why it is said that practical learning is the best way of learning. Prior to my surgery, I had watched some videos of the surgery called “Latarjet”. I also met some people who had undergone the same surgery as mine. I took all these things lightly. I thought that I would enter the operation theatre, get the surgery and exit. That would be all. I would return from the operation theatre as if I had gotten an X-ray image taken. But it was nothing as I imagined. I signed a consent form before getting the surgery. It said that the surgery may have side effects or it could totally fail but the hospital wouldn’t be responsible. I readily signed it because I couldn’t back out at that point where I was lying on the hospital bed. I remember getting a strong anaesthesia dose and nothing after that. I came into my consciousness after five long hours. But it felt like fifteen minutes to me. Here I realised the real feel of anaesthesia which until this time, I had only read about in books. After the surgery, I was so weak that I could barely move my body let alone walk on my legs different from what I had imagined. I had to be shifted to the inpatient ward with the help of a wheelchair. After I reached the Inpatient ward, I was fully conscious. Then I realised that as a side effect of the strong anaesthesia I was unable to move my right hand. My left shoulder had just gone through surgery and my left arm was under an arm immobiliser so there was no chance that I could move my left hand. These all experiences led me to a realisation that we understand a thing completely only when we truly experience that thing in our life. If I hadn’t gone through that surgery, I would have never known what it would feel like to have surgery or to be unable to move both your hands for 48 hours or to spend five long hours thinking it was just fifteen minutes.
People who have never undergone surgery can never understand the pain and trauma of the person who has gone through surgery. Similarly, people who have never gone through ageing never understand the problems of the elderly. People who have proper eyesight can never tell how difficult it to be blind is. This can go on. I remember being bothered by my grandfather who would take two minutes just to get on a bus. I would wonder why he wouldn’t get on the bus as quick as I did. I remember seeing patients in hospitals who would walk here and there slower than a tortoise, perhaps. I remember patients who would spend thirty minutes in the toilet and made me wait for eternity. I would wonder why all these people were so slow. Can’t they be a little faster? The answer is: no they can’t. Forget doing things fast. Doing things slowly is painful to them. How do I know this? Yes, you guessed it right. I know it because I have gone through a nightmare. After my surgery, I had to take the help of a caregiver to do practically everything. It was for about two days. After two days I was able to walk, eat and dress on my own. But my body would pain every time I did these activities. And I was unbelievably slow. My body would pain every time I coughed or sneezed. But the caregiver, the nurse and other people seem not to understand my situation. They handled me harshly and sometimes would be angry as I was too slow with things. Once when I was in the X-ray room to get an X-ray, the radiographer undid my arm immobilizer abruptly. I felt intense pain in my left shoulder. He didn’t even apologize even though he could see the pain in my face although I didn’t express my pain through words. All these experiences made me think that we may be sympathetic but we can never be truly empathetic unless we have experienced the same kind of thing or we have closely observed some near ones who have experienced the same kind of thing.
Bad times show who your true friend is. I had informed my friends about my surgery date. I had expected them to show up and assist me. But most of them had their own things to do. Now I am not telling that they are bad people. It is just that I was not on their priority. My friend, Santosh was the only one to show up. He accompanied me to the hospital, talked to the surgeon for me and waited for five long hours anxiously during my surgery. He was more worried about me than me. After the surgery, he took the best possible care of me. As I was unable to move both hands, he assisted me with everything. I burst into tears when he undid my pants’ zip so that I could take a piss. I had never thought that I would ever need the help of another person to urinate. That was a very strong moment for me. Thousands of things ran into my mind. I realized the importance of a true friend. “One true friend is better than thousand superficial ones”. I had read this numerous times but realised this statement only on that day. People who remain by your side at your worst are your true friends. And if someone chooses to desert you when you need them the most, it’s their choice. You can do nothing about it. Actually, it would be worthless to try.
Medical professionals are one the most hardworking people. Their work is sensitive, full of pressure and challenging. They have to work different shifts on different days. I spent a whole week with these people so I can say at least some things to sing their praise. In a country like Nepal, where a doctor has to serve 1700 patients per day and a nurse has to take care of 1000 patients, it takes a big heart to choose such a profession where you have to work to your bone and you aren’t even paid well. I saw that the work was hectic for the medical professionals. The surgeon who operated on my left shoulder is one of the top orthopaedic surgeons in Nepal. One needs to wait for two hours to get a five-minute appointment from him. Hundreds of patients visit him every day. If I had to deal with hundred people per day in my work, I would have resigned right away. But he was too modest and remembered the names of all his patients. He clarified everything to me regarding my surgery. Similarly, other staffs of the hospital were also hard workers. Some would get anxious and shout at patients or the visitors but I think anyone would do the same when you have to deal with hundreds of people in a day and some of them are assholes. I realised that the medical professional of Nepal, especially those working in government hospitals are really hard workers. They do their best in order to fulfil their duty.
It is said that strong emotions lead to strong actions. My time in Dhulikhel hospital brought many moments where I felt strong emotions. I realised the importance of a true friend. We do need a helping hand sometimes in our life. So, we must work hard to earn true friends and work even harder to maintain a good friendship with them. After all, we also need to be worthy of their friendship. Similarly, I learnt that to understand others, we need to feel empathetic. If you want to understand the person in front of you, you need to be in his shoes. You need to think from his perspective. Finally, the best teacher of our life is life itself.
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